The Crash

by Emme M.

October 29, 1929. It’s my birthday. I’m walking, almost skipping through town. It’s crowded on the main street, and men in long wool coats are pushing me. I know they don’t mean to; they just have places to go, as do I. I put my hand against my coat pocket and feel the coins and bills clank against my body. Suddenly a warm rush of delight washes over me. I stop and glance through the window of Ms. Jenson’s Jewelers, admiring the cases upon cases of glittering metals for the upteenth time. ‘Finally,’ I think as I push open the heavy glass door and hear the bell chime. I’ve never actually entered the store, because I didn’t feel like I belonged. But now with the cash in my pocket I feel rich and snooty like the lady behind the counter. She glances up at me for a brief second and looks back down at the jewelry she’s polishing. I know she must recognize me, for I always leave fingerprints on the window… I start to feel nervous and embarrassed. I look around me, instead of at the lady, in awe of all the gems and lockets and rings. I know I can’t afford them, but there must be something here I can manage. I’ve saved up so long for this moment.

“Can I help you?” the snooty lady asks.

“Oh, um, me?” I respond, but then I realize I'm the only one in the store. I can feel the color in my cheeks start to rise. I clear my throat, stand up straight and smooth my dress with my hands. “Yes, actually… um, do you have anything for three dollars?”

She gives me a funny look, but then she smiles.“Yes we do, right this way.” She leads me to a glass case in the corner. I look down and see that the case next to it is cracked and empty.

“What happened here?’ I ask, pointing at the shattered counter.

“Someone broke in and stole the ruby display. We haven’t had time to replace the glass,” she replies as she pulls out several items from the uncracked case. “Okay, here we have a sterling silver chain for $3, a small heart pendant for $2, silver ball stud earrings and a gold vermeil ball studs, both for $2.” My eyes wander to the cracked case, and all I can think about is who would have the audacity to break into such a fine store, and just take whatever they want! I’ve been saving all my birthday money for this, and people just think they can steal a whole collection of rubies! What a crazy world. I focus my attention back on the silver right in front of me. My anger subsides and is replaced by giddy excitement at taking one of these home! Hmmm, now comes the hard part… I look at each item one by one. What’s the good of a chain without a pendant, and what’s the good of a pendant without a chain? I would just lose them. I cross those both off my mental checklist. So that leaves the earrings that are screwback like what my mother wears, but shinier than anything I’ve ever seen. I’ve always liked silver instead of gold; I think it will stand out against my long brown hair.

“I’ll take the silver earrings, please.”

*****

I’m walking down the street with a little red bag swinging in my hands. I want to show it off to the world. I’m proud, but I act like it’s nothing at all. As I start to reach the outskirts of town, I pass the ice cream parlor and spot Lucy and Mary sitting out front licking their triple scoops. I find this rather odd since the air is chilly and the wind is nipping at me through my coat, but that doesn’t stop them. As I approach them, I flaunt my little red bag.

“Hi Jean, happy birthday,” says Mary, less enthusiastically than I’d expected; she’s usually full of energy…

“Whoa, is that from Ms. Jenson’s Jewelers?” asks Lucy in surprise.  

“Oh, this?” I say, holding my bag a little higher. “Yeah, just a little birthday present I bought for myself.” I smile widely, but the girls don’t look shocked anymore; they look concerned.

“What a way to spend all that money,” remarks Lucy. What does that mean? She knows how long I’ve wanted this, so why would she question me?

“Well, we decided to invest our money into ice cream. Who knows the next time we’ll have five cents just lying around!” Mary chuckles, and glances at Lucy, who sighs. I’m so confused... Why wouldn’t they have five cents lying around? We get ice cream together almost every day in the summer and they sure seem to have money for that…

*****

I burst through the door like a tornado in full swing. “Oh, I just had the best birthday today! At school everyone sang to me and--” I stop talking. My father is nowhere to be seen, and my mother is sitting alone by the radio with tears rolling down her cheeks.

“Happy birthday, darling,” is all I get when she sees me staring. My little brother Joseph comes in through the back door, and Mother pops up to turn off the new radio. We just bought it at the end of summer. Father said we did something called a loan, where we only paid for a part of it and would pay the rest later. I always thought it was very nice of the stores to let us do this. I turn my attention back to Joseph, who is bounding towards me like a puppy.

“Happy birthday Jean!” At least someone seems genuinely happy it’s my birthday today. “Ooo Mom turn on the radio! I wanna listen to ‘Tiptoe Through the Tulips,’ and let’s all dance together for Jean’s birthday, and eat cake, and maybe we could all go outside to play baseball!” Joseph always gets especially excited on birthdays, but I can’t deny this does sound like a great idea!

“No radio,” replies Mother. “Who says you need music to dance? But baseball sounds like a grand idea, Joseph. Now excuse me, Jean, I must go wake up Sarah from her nap.” She kisses me on the forehead as she pushes past me into the nursery. I feel hurt, but I can hear Joseph rounding up the neighborhood kids for baseball. I stash my little red bag under my pillow, and run out the back door after him.

*****

When I come back inside the house, there is sweat dripping from my brow and scrapes on my knees, but I won the baseball game! The table is already set and Mother is busying herself in the tiny kitchen. I spot my father in his big fluffy chair reading the paper, with the radio turned down to a whisper. He looks up at me and slaps off the radio. He has bags under his eyes and looks grim, but a smile does manage to turn up on his face.

“Jean! Happy birthday!” he says. He walks over to give me a hug. He smells a bit like liquor, which worries me. He has had problems managing his drinking in the past, and I certainly don’t wish to relive those times.

“Dinner is ready!” Mother shouts outside to round up Joseph and little Susie. Sarah is already waiting anxiously in her high chair. Lying on the table are three wrapped presents, apple candy pie, mashed potatoes, and meatloaf.

After we finish eating and opening presents, Mother excuses Joseph and Susie, telling them to get in the bath tub. I think this is an odd thing to do; usually we all leave the table together… It must be a special birthday surprise! Joseph and Susie must think so too, because they are putting up quite the fight to leave the table. Once they are finally gone, Mother starts talking.

“Jean, as you have probably realized, we’ve had to cut back on a lot of things recently.” I have realized: no new school shoes or dress this year. “Well, starting today things are going to get a lot worse.” She glanced at Father, then down at the table. She tries to speak again, but all that comes out is a croak.

Father takes the lead: “Remember every couple months, how you and your mother would go and put our savings in the bank?” I do remember. I always dreamed about the wonderful luxurious items we could buy with all that money piling up! “Well, Jean, it’s all gone. Everyone’s money is gone. The stock market crashed today, and the bank has no more money. Now we have to start from scratch.” My heart sinks to the floor. How could this possibly be happening? My mind races. I’m fourteen today, old enough to realize bad things are going on across the country. But not to me. These problems could never affect me! Not like this.

“Are you sure?” I stamper. “There must be something left. Where could it all have gone?” I feel my eyes start to water.

“Risky investments, that’s where…” replies my father solemnly.

“It’s important for you to know, Jean. There are going to be a lot of changes from here on out,” says my mother in the softest voice. I look at them back and forth, and can tell the conversation is closed. I leave the table abruptly, and almost run into my room. Happy birthday to me.  

*****

It’s been six months since the stock market crash, and my mother was right. Things did change. I had to drop out of school in January to work at a clothing factory. Joseph, being only seven, is still in school but only for three days a week. It’s April, and I’m walking back from the factory; my big toes are poking through the holes in my shoes. I walk past Ms. Jenson’s Jewelers and freeze. The windows are boarded and there is a “No Trespassing” sign taped to the door. I reach my fingers up to my ears and gingerly touch the little silver earrings. They are tarnished and starting to rust, but there’s nothing I can do. I frown and keep walking. It’s not like I have any money I could’ve spent there anyways. I had decided to keep my earring purchase a secret from the family. After we sold the radio and the car, I knew that if I wanted to keep the earrings, no one must know they existed in the first place. Is this selfish of me? Sometimes I think so, when I look at how much weight Susie has lost, and the lack of supplies Joseph has for school. Somehow I still feel the need to hold onto the small luxury I possess. When I arrive home I spot my mother packing the last of our things into cardboard boxes. We have to move tomorrow, or else be evicted.

“How was work?” She winces at the word ‘work’ because it pains her to know that I spend nine hours in a factory every day; I don’t know what else I can do to help. “Wake your father up for me.” She seems sad, but that has been a usual feeling lately. I burst into the next room to find my father fully dressed, passed out. A string of drool is dripping onto the ground, landing next to an empty bottle of Jack. I resist the urge to pick it up and knock it over his head. It’s not the first time in the last six months I’ve walked in on this. Every time I do, I always tell myself it will be the last. I feel a tear roll down my cheek; it’s just an empty promise I keep repeating to myself. I don’t want to make money for him to spend on alcohol; I want to make money and have it be spent on a real meal. Or shoes for little Sarah, who hasn’t had a pair since February. But no, the father I once adored is now a hopeless drunk.

*****

The next day we arrive at our new house. It should not be considered a house. It’s more like a shack, but it’s all we have. When I enter, the first thing notice is that there is no running water or even an empty bathtub! How are we supposed to make do? My mother washes other people’s laundry, I’m just a factory worker, and my father does nothing but odd jobs here and there. Just looking at this ‘new’ house feels like a slap in the face.

*****

Weeks go on, and money is less and less common. It feels as if it’s grown legs and run away. Today I’m walking into town to buy flour and butter. It’s only one mile, a quick walk, compared to the three mile walk to work at the new factory. Entering the grocery store is torture. Even though I know I can’t afford any of the chocolates and sweets, I always walk a little out of the way, and down that aisle on my way to the butter. Today when I pass the 3 Musketeers, I stare. They are just sitting there for the taking, so why not? I look around me. I’m entirely alone, no one to be seen. My mouth waters at the sight of the silver wrapper, and I snatch one bar up quickly and shove it in my pocket. I pay fast and rush out of the store. Somehow I don’t feel all that bad about it. After all the world has done to me, I think it’s only fair to fight back.

*****

Ever since I stole the candy bar, I can’t stop. But it’s not only candy now; it’s anything I can get my hands on. I even got Susie a new pair of shoes, although I could see disappointment in my mother’s eyes, but she looked the other way. Whenever people leave things sitting out, I’m there to grab them. I’m at work now during lunch break, but since I don’t have a lunch today, I stay behind, pacing the empty room, and notice a glimmer in the light. I walk over to it and peek under a small length of cotton, to find a long pair of dangling earrings! I’ve never owned any earrings others than the small silver ones I always wear. I screw those off and screw on these new ones. I hear someone coming, and I dash back my chair and keep sewing. I pull my hair over my new earrings and slip the old ones into my pocket. This is definitely my best find yet.

*****

As I walk on the long dirt road, I can feel the new earrings jump up and down with me every step I take. Occasionally I reach up to touch them; I feel like a movie star and start singing ‘Little Orphan Annie.’ Her rags to riches story always gives me hope! I remember my little silver earrings and reach my fingers into my pocket. What I’m not expecting is to feel my fingers pop straight through the fabric and out the other side. A hole. There’s a hole in my pocket! I start breathing rapidly and tears well in my eyes. And then I turn and run. I run back to the factory, slam through the doors and back up to my station. I search frantically, but the earrings are nowhere to be found. No doubt one of the other ladies got to them before I did. This time when I leave the building it’s with a hollow heart. I tear down the dirt road, but I can feel myself going too fast, and I stumble on a rock in the road, crashing into the hard earth. I don’t hold back anymore. I just cry. I rip the new dangly earrings out and throw them as hard as I can into the woods.

*****

When I get home, I don’t say anything to anyone. I go to the wash basin and stiffen a cry when I wipe my wounded knee. The long painful walk from the factory has made me realize something. It’s time for me to accept things and make the best of them. I need to stop cheating the system by stealing. I can do this; I know that with genuine effort things will work out for me. I should’ve returned the silver earrings the same day I bought them, but now they are gone and worth nothing to me.